ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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