the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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