Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize