my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize