I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
is wine microwaveable?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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