Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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