Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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