well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize