i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
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