Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
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I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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