Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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