Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
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