My friends, they love my intelligence
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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