new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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