Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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