My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
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My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
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I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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