Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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