I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
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I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
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So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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