babies were throwing up all over the place
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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