i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize