theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize