I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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