Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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