Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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