I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize