listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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