i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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