At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
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She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
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You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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