put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize