yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize