i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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