I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize