im six kinds of drunk right now
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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