Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
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He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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