you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Panties = found
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize