thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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