There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize