I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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