well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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