I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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