Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize