well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
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Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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