Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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