I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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