Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
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I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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