a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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