And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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