i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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