He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
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yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
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So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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