Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize